Resolutions
by Mistress Jess
Summary: What would your favorite SVM characters have to say on New Year's Eve? Set on New Year's Eve night in Dead to the World. Rated M just to be safe...
1. Eric's POV

**Resolutions**

_Author's Note: As we celebrate the New Year (2014), I was inspired to write a series of reflections from our favorite TB/SVM characters about what their resolutions would be. Each chapter will be a different character's point of view. This story takes place starting on New Year's Eve in Dead to the World._

**Eric POV**

To a vampire, tonight has no more significance than any other night in an eternity of night. But to humans, tonight is New Year's Eve; a night to celebrate the end of the old, and the beginning of the new. Tonight is the night to make resolutions to make themselves into a better human being. As I sit on my throne in Fangtasia enthralling the vermin, all I can think is…

Bullshit.

Resolutions are lies people tell themselves. Most will be broken within a month. Lose weight, spend more time with family, and give more to charity...Lies. Humans will never improve themselves, as a whole, because they are too lazy to accept change.

Overlooking the sea of vermin in the club, I am disgusted. These pitiful creatures come looking for a thrill, a taste of danger, thinking that they are enticing to us in cheap latex, drugs and alcohol coursing through their blood, and stinking of desperation. What they fail to realize is they mean nothing to us. They are just a feed and fuck. None of them are worth of my time and attention. No human is…

Except Sookie.

She is the first human in centuries to gain my attention. Even Pamela did not capture my attention the way Sookie has. From the minute she first walked into Fangtasia, she has preyed on my thoughts. Compton was a fucking idiot to bring her into my bar and think I would not notice her. He should have told her how to dress if he wanted to remain inconspicuous. But instead, she walked into my bar wearing a white dress with red on it, and smelling like wheat, honey, and sunlight…..she is lucky I did not fuck her and drain her that night. Believe me, I wanted to. It was my intention to glamour her away from Compton that night, but she resisted my glamour. Even when she was seated next to me, I attempted to glamour her again, and it did not work. My instinct then was to kill what I could not control. As I was making plans how to dispose of her, she warned me of the raid and told me of her telepathy. I would have ended her instantly if she could read vampire minds. She assures me she cannot, but I do not think that is the complete truth.

I have been so deep in thought that I failed to notice one of the vermin making their way towards me. She is dressed in black latex (how original) that hangs on her body like a burlap sack. She reeks of narcotics and alcohol. She has visible bite marks on her arms and neck, leading me to believe she is like a bicycle and will let everyone climb on board for a ride. My palette has become more discerning since meeting a certain blonde telepath…

I snarl at the woman before she can drop to her knees and speak. I use my vampire speed to vacate my throne and enter my office. I slam the door behind me in frustration.

Why do I keep thinking about her? She is not mine, and has no wish to be mine. She made that very clear when she rescinded my invitation after Jackson.

Jackson….

My mind tries not to think about Jackson, but my cock instantly hardens remembering what transpired in that bed. Had Bubba not interrupted when he did, I would have pleasured Sookie for hours and ensured she was mine before the sun rose. My mind replays the images from that night, and I snarl in frustration.

I throw myself into my office chair and release myself from my pants. I begin stroking my cock as I remember the feel of Sookie's body, her taste. My hand moves faster as I remember the night of that ridiculous orgy Sookie had me escort her too. My hand moves even faster as I remember Dallas; our kiss, the taste of her blood as I cleaned her arm, and her mouth sucking the bullet out of my body. Remembering her taking my blood sends me over the edge, and I cum all over my hand and desk.

I snarl in frustration again as I clean up, throwing my shirt into the corner because there is cum on it. I am Eric Northman; I am a vampire; I fuck and feed on anyone I want. I have no need to jerk off to memories of some girl who does not want me. Any of the vermin in my bar would beg for the chance to suck my cock. What is it about Sookie Stackhouse that enthralls me so?

As I finish cleaning up, I settle back into my chair. Not for the first time, I think I should end her. If I end her, I will no longer think about her.

I feel Sookie's sadness through the blood tie. It instantly stops my thoughts, and I analyze what she is feeling. She feels exhausted, hopeless, alone… and unloved. As I feel these emotions from her, I realize I do not wish to end Sookie Stackhouse.

I want her to be mine.

Not my pet.

My mate.

I smirk to myself as I hear the countdown begin in the bar. I, Eric Northman, 1000 year old Viking Vampire, have a New Year's Resolution.

I will do whatever it takes to make Sookie Stackhouse mine.

Just as the vermin reach zero and begin saying Happy New Year, I sense Pam at my office door.

"Enter." I call out to my child.

Pamela and Chow enter with someone following behind them. Pam says, "Master, the witches are here to see you."

_This was my first attempt at FanFiction. Be gentle with me. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I cannot decide which POV to upload next. Any ideas?_


	2. Claudine's POV

_AN: Thank you very much to those of you who liked the first chapter enough to follow and/or favorite the story! I really appreciate the encouragement since that was the first thing I ever posted. _

_To Jfozz, Marnie/Hallow is an interesting view point, and it's not one that I had previously considered. Give me some time to work on it, but I think I can come up with something there. And I plan on posting POVs for all of the major characters, but I plan on spacing them out. Have to keep you lovely people interested._

_A lot of the information in this chapter comes from Ms. Harris' Fairy Dust, which is in A Touch of Dead, a series of short stories written involving the SVM universe._

_And since I forgot to mention this in the previous chapter, I do not own any of the SVM/TB characters, but oh the naughty things that I get to do with them. _

**Claudine's POV **

I can't help but laugh at the show my brother Claude is currently putting on. At Hooligans, they are having a New Year's Eve bash for the single ladies. It's an idea Claude gave to Rita Child, the owner of Hooligans. Claude said what better way for lonely, single women to spend New Year's Eve than spending their money on him. I had to roll my eyes when I heard that. Of course, Claude would only see the benefit for himself. As long as he is getting attention, he doesn't care about anything else. But at least he is giving the women in attendance all of their money's worth. Claude is currently on stage as the Pirate. He walked onto stage in soft black leather pants, knee high black boots, a white lace up shirt that was loosely tied, and a rapier…I mean a sword. I've lived so long that I sometimes forget what age I am currently in.

As I walk around the back of Hooligans, I keep my eyes on Claude. He slowly unlaced the closure of his white shirt, as the women in the audience screamed in encouragement. Once his shirt was off, we placed his sword flat against his body and started to slowly thrust against it. His dance movements were driving the women to a frenzy, the noise level in the club increasing as the women scream, clap, whistle, whatever they can do to make noise showing their appreciation for my brother. I shake my head, laughing again. Being Faery, our appeal to everyone is universal because we tend to be more attractive than the average human. Claude stops his thrusting when a very exuberant group of women near the stage begin waving handfuls of cash at him. Seeing this, Claude saunters over to the group of women and stabs his swords into the table they are seated around. He climbs onto the table and starts to gyrate on the sword, shaking his bottom in the face of the women. The women adore him; they are throwing money at him, their hands are pushing dollar bills into his boots, into the waste of his pants. As the music reaches a crescendo, he stands up straight and rips his pants off. The women in the club scream like teenagers when they realize Claude is wearing nothing more than a G-string. You can tell from Claude's body that he has been enjoying the adulation of the women, since the G-string barely covers his penis. The women scream and clap louder than before. I pass my sister Claudette as I make my way out of the club and we grin at each other. I wonder how much these women would still scream for Claude if they knew he was more interested in the previous dancer, Jeff, then any of them.

As much as I would have enjoyed staying at Hooligans with my siblings tonight, I have somewhere else I need to be. I start my car and head towards Bon Temps. I can't help but think about my plans for the upcoming year. I have recently agreed to be the Fairy Godmother to Sookie Stackhouse. It is one of the steps needed for me to ascend to being an angel. Something tells me that I may have my work cut out for me on this one. From the information I have been able to gather from Sookie's friend Tara, Sookie has become something of a trouble magnet. Well, what do you expect when you hang out with vampires?

I have been tasked with ensuring that Sookie stays safe. I'm not exactly sure why the Prince of the Fae is so interested in Sookie. I understand that she is the granddaughter of his deceased son Fintan, and that she has the essential spark. But what I don't understand is his fascination with her. It cannot be that she is his great-granddaughter. He has other family members still living that are much more Fae than Sookie and have the essential spark. I myself am the granddaughter of the Prince. I wonder if he wants her for her telepathy. However, that doesn't seem likely. Telepathy would be of no benefit to him since the Fae cannot lie to each other, although that doesn't mean we are exactly honest with each other either. Sookie must have something that the Prince wants, but I don't know what that is. I have no wish for the Prince to be another being in Sookie's life that uses or abuses her. She seems like a sweet girl that hasn't been given a single break in her life. I mentally flip through everything that I know about her life. The death of her parents at a young age…the sexual and mental abuse by her uncle (at least the vampire did something right while with Sookie)…the telepathy that caused her to be ostracized and ridiculed by everyone in Bon Temps…the murder of her beloved grandmother… it's a wonder Sookie hasn't spiraled out of control with everything that has gone wrong in her life.

I pull into Merlotte's parking lot and get out of my car. I look around quickly to ensure no one is around. Seeing that I am alone, I snap my fingers and the air around me shimmers briefly. I am now dressed in a skintight long-sleeved orange dress and my dark hair is hanging down my back in soft waves. I make my way into Merlotte's and see my goddaughter. Sookie is hustling from the bar to one of her tables, carrying a tray full of drinks and food. As I start up a conversation with a bunch of men standing around the pool table, I can't help but notice that although she is surrounded by people, she seems alone. I laugh at the group of men around the pool table, and make my way towards the bar as one of the men tries to convince me to celebrate the New Year with a bang… in the back of his truck. As much as I enjoy being around humans, I have no desire to take a human lover. Eventually I wish to have a child, but I wish for the child to be a Fae. Sookie is all the proof I need to show me that a half Fae – half human child is not an option. I move to stand next to Sookie at the bar. She briefly glances at me and gives me what I know she refers to as her "Crazy Sookie" smile. I can tell she recognizes that I am not human, but she doesn't know what I am.

Oh my dear child, I think to myself as she walks away with another table's order, I only wish to keep you safe and happy. Perhaps by doing this, I can get my own wish as well. Only time will tell.


	3. Bill's POV

_AN: Here's an extra chapter for you lovely people tonight. I am very appreciative of the reviews and the follows/favorites for the story. As always, all characters belong to Ms. Harris. I'm just borrowing them to get some ideas I have off my head. Thanks for reading._

**Bill's POV**

I am so fucked!

Jackson has derailed all of my plans regarding Sookie. I was supposed to have procured Sookie for Queen Sophie-Anne long before this. Andre, the Queen's second in command, has been calling incessantly asking when I would be bringing the "telepath" to New Orleans.

To avoid the calls, I told the Queen I needed more information for the vampire database. I told Sophie-Anne there was a vampire in Lima that was willing to give me information about the vampires in South America. Vampires in South America tend to be more secretive than usual, because they have not been accepted by the humans. Many vampires met their True Death after the Great Revelation. Those that still reside in South America are underground for the most part. Thinking this information would increase the value of the database, Sophie-Anne quickly agreed for me to go. She is blinded by her own greed. Before I left Louisiana, she did tell me that she expected Sookie in New Orleans shortly after I return from my trip. I told her that Sookie needed time to recover from the wounds she received in Jackson from Steve Newlin and the Weres, and we would both be in New Orleans soon.

What I didn't tell Sophie-Anne was that Sookie rescinded my invitation. I panicked when she rescinded my invitation. Not only would I no longer have access to her, but my computer and the vampire database were in her "hidey-hole". Eventually Sookie returned the computer and database to me, but that isn't what I was most concerned with.

I need access to Sookie's house. I need to have access to Sookie.

I'm not entirely sure what she remembers about the events in Jackson, or what she has put together. For someone who should know the worst about humanity, she is incredibly naïve when it comes to my behavior.

But then again, that's because of the blood.

Ever since the night I had the Rattray's beat Sookie, she has had my blood inside her. That night, I began forming a blood bond with her. As she took my blood, I licked the blood from the wound on her head. She has had my blood several times that she knows about since then (and some that she doesn't), and you can be sure that I have had plenty of her blood. But she has been resisting my attempts to control her. It could be because of her telepathy and shields, but I don't think it is. I think there is another reason she is resisting my control.

Eric.

I knew taking Sookie to Fangtasia was a mistake. I knew once Eric saw Sookie, he would want her. Eric has gotten his blood into Sookie every chance he gets. I cannot prove it, but I'm sure he gave her some of his blood after the Maenad attack. He manipulated the situation in Dallas to get Sookie to voluntarily take his blood. And Sookie smelled so much like Eric in Jackson, that I almost drained her and raped her in that trunk to prove to her she is MINE!

Even though I have to take Sookie to New Orleans, Sophie-Anne promised me that Sookie would remain my pet as part of my procurement fee. Of course, I will happily share Sookie with my Queen and her children as often as she wishes. Perhaps, Sophie-Anne will allow me to join as she fucks and feeds from Sookie.

As images of me with Sophie-Anne and Sookie flood through my head and harden my cock, there is a knock at the door of my hotel room.

"Room service," a voice says on the other side of the door.

When I open the door, I see the meal I ordered; an A- woman with blond hair and brown eyes, and an O+ woman with black hair and brown eyes. Both women are voluptuous; their bodies encased in black dresses plunging to the navel, backless, and stopping mid-thigh. As they walk into the room, I notice they are wearing high heels. My fangs snap down as I realize that I will get to enact some of the fantasies that have been going through my mind of myself with Sookie and Sophie-Anne.

The two women stop just inside my hotel room. The A- turns to me, "Where would you like us to set up your meal?"

I blur to both of them, and rip their dresses off. I push the O+ to her knees, and I grab the A- by her throat. I smell the fear and arousal coming off both women and it causes me to smile. Fear and sex force adrenaline through the body, which makes the blood taste better, and causes it to flow out of the body more quickly.

"We have all night ladies. Why don't we start with the first course of our meal right here?" As I say this, the O+ undoes the tie on my robe and starts to suck my cock. While she is doing that, I sink my fangs into the throat of the A-. She moans loudly as I start to suck hard, and my fingers move to her clit. I begin rubbing my fingers at vamp speed over her clit, feeling her wetness coat my fingers. I pull my fangs out of her neck as she screams and cums over my hand from her climax. As the A- sinks to the floor when I let her go, I stop the O+ from sucking on my cock further. I have her get on her hands and knees. I tell the A- to lie down in front of the O+, so that the O+ has her face buried in the other woman's pussy. I tell the women not to move. I move behind the O+ and roughly enter her from behind. I'm using long, slow thrusts into her, so that as I push into her, her face is moving around the other woman's pussy, eating her just the way I want her to. It reminds me of the fantasy I have involving Sookie and Sophie-Anne, where I will be taking Sookie from behind as she is eating Sophie-Ann's pussy. Sophie-Ann would be playing with her nipples as Sookie sucks and nibbles on her clit. I would be pounding into Sookie's cunt, and I would sink my fangs into her shoulder as I cum inside her. As I move faster, the two whores in front of me moan and whimper bringing me back to the present. Just as I begin to feel my release, I sink my fangs into the shoulder of the O+. As they both shout as they climax, I have a single thought as I continue to drink and shoot my seed into my dinner's pussy.

Once I return to Bon Temps, I will do whatever it takes to ensure Sookie Stackhouse will be mine to do with as I please.

_As always, reviews and suggestions are appreciated. _


	4. Hallow's POV

_AN: Thanks for the reviews. I wrote Bill's POV to illustrate the differences I found in Bill's behavior versus Eric's behavior. Eric was introduced in the first book to fill the role of the villain; to appear like he would only use Sookie to further his own needs. But I never bought into that opinion. If Eric was only going to use Sookie, he would never have let her leave that first night. Bill's behavior on the other hand, always struck me as being self-serving. He only did things for Sookie that would benefit him, not that would benefit her. Ok, I'll get off my soap box now. And on to the next view point…_

_Jfozz this is for you. I hope it lives up to your expectations. It's not so much a resolution as a revelation. I know in TB they call her Marnie, but in SVM she is Hallow. _

**Hallow's POV**

I look at my brother Mark with a feeling of anticipation. If everything goes to plan tonight, the Viking will be eliminated.

Our associate is currently at Fangtasia to see if the vampire will accept our terms. Not that I think he will. Vampires and Weres have enough trouble getting along with each other to begin with. You add in the fact that I'm a witch as well as a Were, and I knew the Northman would have no interest in associating with me. It is of no consequence. I did not want the vampire to accept my offer. I wouldn't have minded fucking him because he is the most attractive being I've ever seen, even if he is dead, but I have more pressing matters to deal with.

Mark and I came to Shreveport with a purpose. We've run scams in other areas, stripping other Supes of their money and power. Everything was going great until Mom and Dad got caught, and then everything went to shit. Mom and Dad were sentenced to prison for running confidence schemes. Mark and I tried to appeal to other Supes to help them out, but Mom and Dad had fucked over a lot of people, and no one was willing. While incarcerated, Mom antagonized a Voodoo priestess. The priestess tortured Mom and ultimately killed her. I suppose Dad was luckier, he was shanked while in the prison yard and died instantly.

When Mark and I learned of our parents' fate, we wanted revenge, and there was one individual willing to help us. As always, nothing is free, and this individual's help comes with a steep price. So we came to Louisiana to scout the area. All our information pointed to Area 5 as being the most prosperous. My employer told me to do whatever was needed to destabilize Area 5. To do that, Mark and I agreed we first needed to take out the Sheriff. He inspired loyalty among those that followed him. He worked well with the other Supes in the area; not necessarily respecting them, but he tolerated them, knowing that everyone had their uses. Once the Sheriff was out of the way, the other vamps would be out of control. As for the other Supes in the area, they are no match for the magic Mark and I can wield. As a precaution, Mark and I have increased the size of our coven…whether they were willing or not.

A sudden surge of power goes through me. It seems that the Viking has refused our offer. Good. That will make things easier for DeCastro when he moves on Louisiana. And I will already be in place as one of his loyal subjects.


	5. Jason's POV

_AN: No, my spell check isn't broken. I try to write each POV as I believe the character would actually speak. And just so you know, definite lemons in this chapter. _

**Jason's POV**

Bein' me is awesome!

I'm out at my favorite bar with a hot girl, and I know I'm gonna get lucky tonight. Hell, I get lucky almost every night. But there is something different about this girl. She seems to be a little wilder than the other girls I been with. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not into that fucked up shit that'll get ya' hurt or sumthin'. But I enjoy a little variety in my bed….and I don't mean just by having a different woman all the time.

Like I said bein' me is awesome!

I signal the waitress, Arlene, so she knows me and my date need another round of drinks. Arlene nods her head and makes her way to the bar. As Arlene is waitin' for the drinks, my sister Sookie stands next to her waitin' for her own order.

Sookie…she's my sister and I love her. But I don't understand her. She's always been different; hell everyone calls her "Crazy Sookie". She's not crazy, she's just got sumthin' extra up in her head. I always tried to protect her since Momma and Daddy died. As a kid, I'd beat up those little shits that would pick on her too bad. When we growed up, I would still beat up those assholes that would try to take advantage of her. She's my sister, and I'm not letting any asshole run roughshod over her. But then she got mixed up with them vampers. I don't know how to protect her from that. Since she met Vampire Bill, she's been hurt and in the hospital more than ever before in her life. Those vamps ain't good for her. You think she would have learnt that after Gran died. I know Gran dyin' wasn't Sook's fault, but part of me still blames her for it. If she hadn't been with Vampire Bill, Rene wouldn'ta came after Sook.

Arelene drops off our drinks as I keep watchin' Sook. I've been starin' at Sookie so long, that my date is gettin' jealous. "If you'd rather be with that bitch, what'dya bring me here for," she says to me with a frown on her face.

I blink at her twice, not understandin' what she just said. I look back at Sookie who is makin' her way through her tables. I gesture with my head, "That's my sister, Sookie. I was just checkin' to make sure she's a'right. I don't want any of these drunk fucks to mess with her."

My date settles back in her chair with a smile. She takes a long swallow of her beer. As she sets the bottle back down, she starts running her fingers up and down my arm teasingly. Girls always like it when they know you protect your family, so I know I just got me some brownie points. She leans into my ear and purrs, "I'm sorry baby. I thought you wanted her over me. And I had such plans for us tonight," she says as she flicks her tongue against my ear. As she pulls back, I see her hand start slowly moving down her neck to the tops of her tits, tracin' along the line of her shirt. My eyes bulge a little as I gulp down my beer. My eyes aren't the only thing bulgin' at the moment.

I hurriedly throw some money down on the table, grab my date's hand, "C'mon, let's go." As we walk out of Merlotte's, I wave bye to my friends. Of course, they start hootin' and catcallin' cause they know what we're up to.

Like I said, bein' me is awesome!

I push her out of Merlotte's. Once we get to my truck, I push her against the door and crash my lips down on hers. Her hands go to my belt, quickly undoing the buckle, popping the button on my jeans, and pushing my zipper down. Next she pushes her hands inside my boxers, and I hiss when she wraps her hands around my dick. She starts pumping me with both her hands, and my hips start thrusting, pushing my dick further into her hands. My hands go to her boobs, pushing them together and kneading them. My actions cause her nipples to pop out of her top; I love when women don't wear a bra. My head lowers to lick along her boobs, reaching her nipple and sucking it into my mouth. She moans and rubs against me like a cat in heat. Before I can move my mouth to her other nipple, she slides down my body to her knees. She looks up at me with a smirk on her face and licks her lips. She leans forward and licks the tip of my cock, my eyes roll back into my head. She quickly grabs my hips and takes my cock into her mouth, swallowing so that I go down her throat. I can't help the moan that leaves my mouth and my arms move to brace me against my truck. I am quickly losing control. I'm not a one-pump chump, but I don't think any guy would be able to last when they have someone deep-throating their cock. And this girl is a MASTER at it! Before I can warn her, I'm shooting my cum into her mouth. She doesn't seem to mind; she keeps sucking me until I start to go soft. She tucks me back into my shorts, fixes my pants, stands back up. I'm still braced against the truck, I've lost all function in my legs. She wipes the corners of her mouth with her finger and sucks her finger into her mouth. My eyes widen and I can't believe it, but I'm getting' turned on again.

I release a breath shakily, "Damn girl, you're a real wildcat!"

She laughs and boosts herself up into my truck. Before she shuts the door I hear her say, "You have no idea."

Once I feel like I can move, I get into my truck. "Where to, darlin'?" as I start the engine.

"Let's go back to your place. And remember, my names Crystal. You'll be screaming it later tonight."

I don't live too far from Merlotte's. It's the house that my parents owned. I pull into the drive, and we both get out. I unlock the door, and Crystal walks in. I close the door behind her, and set my keys down on the table. Sometimes bein' in this house makes me sad. I know I seem like a horn dog, but I really want to settle down and have a family like my Momma and Daddy did. I miss bein' a family. Maybe I've finally found the girl I can have that with.

I look up and see Crystal in my bedroom door. She's untied her shirt and it falls to her waist. She runs her hands up her stomach and clutches her tits. Her left hand rubs her nipple, and her right hand crooks a finger at me to move towards her. As I walk to her, I pull my shirt over my head and throw it on the couch. Goddamn, I can't believe my luck! This year is going to be awesome! I think I finally found a girl that can keep up with me. I can't wait to see where the new year takes us. That's the last thought I have for the rest of the night.


	6. Sookie's POV

_AN: Well my loves, I hope you have enjoyed this little journey into what is going through the minds of some of the SVM universe on New Year's Eve. I think this will be the last point of view I will write. I could write a POV for everyone in the SVM universe, but really, who wants to read all of that? Of course, I had to save this one for last. _

_On a side note, I have two different stories running through my mind at the moment. The first story is entitled 'A Different Life', and the first chapter is already up. What if when Sookie's parents died, she didn't go live with Gran? What if Fintan showed up to assign a guardian to Sookie? And it's not who you would think. The second story I'm not really sure how to classify. All I know is that as I see it playing out in my mind I keep seeing Alexander Skarsgard….and what a yummy sight to see! _

_And now, the final act. There are hints of sexual abuse in this chapter. There are also mentions of sex. Nothing graphic, but you have been warned. And thank you to Ms. Harris for creating such amazing characters that inspire us to write/read fanfiction._

**Sookie's POV**

What I wouldn't give to have a moment's peace.

It's tough working in a bar when you're a telepath. My shields are usually good enough that I can block people's thoughts. But when you factor in alcohol, people tend to get louder and their thoughts tend to get more graphic. Normally I can handle it, because most people aren't getting drunk at Merlotte's, they just come in to socialize. Well, except Jane Bodehouse, the resident drunk. But her thoughts are muddled now from years of alcohol abuse; I don't really get anything from her. Tonight is different though; it's New Year's Eve, so everyone is drinking more than they normally would. And everyone's thoughts are pressing in on me. The pressure is painful; it's like I'm in a vice being squeezed on all sides. The noise in my head is like standing on the 50 yard line of the Superdome and having everyone in the stands yelling at me. I step up to the bar to give Sam the next order. I take a minute to close my eyes, and try to reinforce my shields. When I open my eyes, Sam is sliding the drinks onto my tray. He gives me a small smile in sympathy. I give him a small smile back and turn to walk to my table.

I walk up to the table and give them their drinks, but I might as well have been invisible. They only had eyes for each other. I walk away and sigh. I used to know what that felt like, to be so enchanted with someone that you only see them. Damn you, Bill. My heart still aches when I think about him. I know it's hasn't been that long since we broke up, but I feel like my heart won't ever heal. He was my first everything for all intents and purposes. I move on autopilot as I take orders, clear tables, and deliver food and drinks to folks, trying to clear my head of thoughts of Bill.

Arlene asked me earlier what Bill has done for me. I told her nothing, but that's not true. I've felt more alive in the last few months than I have the rest of my life. Of course, those feelings have come with a price. I lost Gran. Her loss has left a giant hole in me. She was the only parent I really remember. Mama and Daddy died when I was little, and I only have few memories of them. What I remember most is that they were scared of me because of my telepathy. I know they loved me, but their fear was a stronger emotion than their love. Gran loved me despite my disability. She never pitied me, and she helped me deal with everything the best that I can. I owed Gran everything; and I feel like I failed her. No matter how long I live, I will always miss and mourn her.

All of my tables are taken care of, so I tell Sam I'm gonna take a quick break to clear my head. He reaches across the bar and squeezes my hand. I pull my hand away and throw on my "Crazy Sookie" smile. Touching always increases my ability to hear someone. Sam was thinking he would like to be my kiss at midnight; that since I'm now free of Bill he might have a shot. I shove open the back door of Merlotte's and roll my eyes at Sam's thoughts. Sam is my friend….ok I have occasionally had the X-rated thought about him. But sue me, I've been a lonely woman for the majority of my life, and I needed to have some fantasies. I don't think getting involved with Sam would be a good idea. He's my boss first and foremost, and he's been one of the only friends I've ever had. I don't want to ruin that.

I look up at the sky and release a sigh. Although I can still "hear" everything inside, it's muted, not hitting me at full blast like earlier. I lean against the building and can't help but think about what I want this upcoming year. In the last few weeks, I've been staked, bitten, beaten up, nearly drained, and….I can't think about that last one. Logically, I know what Bill did to me in the trunk of that car in Jackson. I know what he did is no better than what Bartlett did to me as a child. But emotionally…I can't process it. I don't know how to handle it. I can't fathom how someone who claimed to love me could physically hurt me like that. He said he didn't know what he was doing, that it was his vampire instincts taking over.

Vampire instincts…..if that were the case, Eric would have drained me several times over by now.

I kick at the ground in frustration. I did NOT want to think about Eric Northman. He is a high-handed bastard who tricked me into taking his blood in Dallas. That pain in the ass vampire pimped my telepathy out to any and all vampires that paid his asking price. Sometimes I wanted to stake his ass myself.

And yet…..he gave me a driveway. He helped clean my house after the Weres beat me up. He took care of me in Jackson when I got staked. He protected me when we went to the orgy. He shielded my body with his own from the Fellowship attack in Dallas. He helped heal me after I was attacked by the Maenad. Eric confuses me. Part of me wants to slap the smile off his face, and another part of me wants to grab onto his ass and never let go.

Moaning and grunting brings me out of my thoughts. Great, my brother and his date are having sex in the parking lot. This is one of those times I really hate being a telepath. I don't need to hear this shit…and my brain definitely didn't need that visual!

I move inside and hustle to check on my tables. I get back into the routine of waitressing, nothing like monotonous (a word from last week on my Word-of-the-Day calendar) activity to allow my mind to drift. And for some reason, my mind drifts to Eric again. Ok, I can be a big girl and admit that I was attracted to him the moment I saw him (I'd have to be truly dead not to be attracted). And other than the night when he staked Long Shadow, he really hasn't given me a reason to be afraid of him. In fact, he has protected me and cared for me several times. He's even given me things he knows I needed. The only thing Bill has ever given me was a line of credit at Tara's Togs so he could destroy my clothing whenever the mood struck him. I know Eric wants to have sex with me…and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. A shudder runs through my body as I remember that night in Jackson…the way he kissed me until I was breathless….the feel of his hands on and in my body…the size of him pressed against my back as I drank his blood. Arousal floods my panties while I think about it, and Sam's head whips around to stare at me. Damn supernatural sense of smell!

Fortunately for me, the patrons start counting down. I move as far from Sam as possible. I don't want him to think I'm feeling this way for him. As the clock strikes midnight, I smile and hug some of the customers. I find Arlene and give her a hug too. I avoid Sam. I'm still a little raw thinking about Eric.

The rest of the night is over before I know it. Thank God because I'm exhausted. Sam, Arlene, Kenya, and I talk about our resolutions for the upcoming year. I tell them I want to stay out of trouble, to not get hurt or beaten up. That was the safe answer. I couldn't tell them what my real New Year's resolution is. Since midnight, I've been thinking about Eric; the pros and the cons that come with being involved with that vampire. Would it be so awful to be his? Would it really be so bad to find out if he really is a Viking Vampire Sex God? My hootchie answers that one for me. I get into my car and begin to make the drive home. My New Year's resolution is to stop living my life to other people's expectations and be happy…..and if that means being with Eric Northman, then so be it.


End file.
